Posted in Christian Girl Talk Series, Real Women Like Us

Anxious & Thinking of Settling? | CGT

Heeyyy Guys!

So in this post, I may come across as a gremlin especially amidst the current trend both in churches and society in general.

The recent years has seen its fair share of marriages and new relationships. Social media has been inundated with proposals, luxury weddings, love confessions, shocking new relationships (celebrity and close to home) and the lot.

Now don’t get me wrong, its beautiful that it seems people are becoming more committed in relationships and valuing their partners to do life with them. I say ‘seems’ because NOBODY truly knows what goes on behind the smiles and laughter posted on social media platforms.

The thing that has been worrying me though, is the question of ‘do they really understanding what marriage is about? are they really sure about the person they are committing to? are they simply settling because they are tired of waiting?’

Whenever I see a massive shift and trend towards something, it always makes me feel uncomfortable and makes me question the true intentions. I have never been in a relationship as I have previously posted about 25, Never been kissed, Never dated, so of course I can’t really say much about being in a relationship. What I have seen though, are many real life horrible and destroyed relationships that happened due to :

  • Anxiety
  • ‘It’s taking too long to trust God, I’ll just settle’
  • ‘Everyone else is in a relationship, I don’t want to be alone’
  • ‘I don’t feel secure being alone’
  • Fear of having to start again if you end a wrong relationship
  • Fear of what people may say if you end a relationship, because you’ve come too far with the relationship
  • And many more…….

The more I have seen this, as well as the end or rather progressing results of the consequences of relationship decisions taken due to the above statements, the more determined I have been not to fall into the same trap.

Being single is NOT A SIN! It is not something to be ashamed of! Placing your trust in God for your love life whilst doing the things He leads you to do in your career, family and other areas of your life, does not make you any less than those in relationships!

Of course we are taught to live by faith both from the Word of God and in church, but God has also given us common sense and natural conviction to know when something isn’t right. It’s called having no total peace about it! If you are a person of prayer, God will always reveal to you when His hand is upon your relationship or not. But you know what God will never do? Force us to listen and obey.

According to the standard I choose to live by (the Word of God), not the world’s standards, marriage is supposed to be eternally binding. That phrase in itself shakes my inside, doesn’t it yours?? So something this big requires careful thought and preparation as well as a high level of assurance before making that commitment. It is not a show. Judging from the blessed marriages I have witnessed, it is not easy at all and demands daily sacrifice and hard work! This involves finances, communication, compromise, each others extended families and so much more. Marriage is not just about the wedding day, the congratulations and gifts, these only last a very short while…..then true reality will set in.

I think it’s important that amidst the emotions of everything that happens around us, we don’t forget to use one of the greatest gift God has given us, which is our mind, to make sure we understand the events that follow a decision.

Goodness, reading back I do sound like a gremlin don’t I? Lol, but I feel this really needs to be said. We cannot live in ‘La-la’ land and wake up when we are already in deep. Marriage is an absolute blessing as I have seen, and I am truly truly truly looking forward to it, but definitely in the right way.

I hope this helped in some way! Let me know your thoughts.

Speak Soon. X

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