Real Women Like Us

Is it wrong to call myself Beautiful?.....

 

Growing up in Ghana till I was 9, I was constantly called beautiful by my relatives. They would often refer to me as 'black beauty'. It truly made me feel confident in my skin, beautiful and pretty self-assured about how I looked.

When I came over to the UK, it was the direct opposite. Adults and children alike made horrible comments about me right to my face or within earshot. Comments such as 'blik - something darker than black', 'so ugly', 'fat', 'you can't even see her', 'do you scrub your skin properly?'............ There were many others but my memory fails me.

You can imagine what this did to my morale. I was really broken inside and absolutely hated the way I looked and began to believe I was indeed ugly.

Malta 2013- before my #nofilter movement loool

When I came to know God, all this changed, but there was still something I had an issue with. I found it very hard to freely call myself beautiful. It seemed prideful, boastful and vain. Even though I now believed I was beautiful, I felt like I would be seen as vain or proud for actually addressing myself as beautiful.

Ever heard about the theory of speaking positive words to seeds and seedlings as they grow into plants? Ever heard or seen a child being brought up on love, positive words and encouragement? We find it very easy to accept negativity, even if we openly shun it or criticise it, but it's harder to accept positive things. A clear example is the fact that people find it hard to believe in God, but are quick to say with full confidence that satan/evil exists.......erm HELLO??!! How can one exist and not the other???

Ok, I'm actually going off topic now, but my point is, seeing you for who you really are, beautiful, and being confident in that, bold enough to say it to the world, is something that should be celebrated. This should come easier to us than calling ourselves ugly and other negative words. 

In-fact it is inspiring and motivating to see women who celebrate their beauty and live confidently in that truth. I hope to inspire you always to celebrate the beauty you naturally possess and never feel you need to look like 'so and so' and have more of this or that to be good enough.

Just as you are, you are pretty amazing! Make the most of what you naturally have!

Speak Soon. X

Me,Myself and the Camera........

 

I love love love nature, minus the bugs and pests lol. Again on one of our outings, this time to Itaewon then off to meet some people, we came across this gorgeous place in Namsan Park and I couldn't resist taking some 'model looking' photos.

 

The colour yellow is one I really love as it goes so nice against my skin tone. In fact I am loving brighter colours more and more! I think both myself and nature compliment each other pretty well, don't you think?? lool

 

Outfit details -

  • Top - Zara (Bought spring 2017)
  • Jeans - Marks and Spencer's (Bought spring 2017)
  • Shoes - Primark (Bought spring 2017)

 

The Approval Game........

'What do you think?' , 'Oh, I thought it was nice, but now I see what you mean...', 'Are you sure?', ' I really want to do this, but I guess you're right....'

These are just a few of the words we use when we are deep in the approval game. Unfortunately this is an on-going battle for us as women.

I like to share my own personal experiences as it shows how real we all are and how we all tend to go through the same things. I have this habit that I have to constantly fight against. I am quite different from my friends, that part is obvious lol, my personality has always been quirky. For the longest time, actually since I came to know God, this difference in personality has not bothered me. I have loved being my own unique Marilyn!

I hate this phrase as I don't believe such things actually exist, but as society tends to have a particular description of it, I guess I am not your typical 'black girl'. I love things most of my friends and others of my race that I know wouldn't even bat an eyelid towards lol; I love doing things some find crazy and I just simply enjoy discovering new cultures, even if it's scary.

But I have to admit, over the years some of my friends and others have unintentionally made comments which have caused me to question myself. Comments such as " You're so weird Marilyn" , "You're so different!" , " You're just......" . Now don't get me wrong, I don't think I have ever taken offence, but I noticed only recently that when comments like that are made, I feel weird inside. A thought comes into my mind "Maybe I need to change, maybe I need to be more like everyone else."

Do you know my mind's immediate reflex? Like I am not exaggerating, this is what literally happens straight after the above thought.

If you were like everyone else, then what would be the point of there even being a 'you' ?? I can reach you who are touched by what I write and do, because I am simply me. I make you who find me funny laugh, because I am simply me. You enjoy watching my videos, reading my blog posts and spending time with me all because I am unapologetic-ally and authentically Marilyn Ama!

There's a purpose set aside for every single one of us individually and when we get distracted by this 'oh so attractive' Game of Approval, many of us, rather sadly, will die without ever having fulfilled the beautiful unique purpose we were called for.

Someone once said to me that the richest place on earth is the grave yard. Many dreams, plans and goals died with people who got distracted or discouraged.

Let's not be like that ladies!! Let's celebrate our differences, encourage one another and above all be unapologetic-ally and authentically simply ourselves!

Speak soon. X

 

 

 

She is Beautiful......

I tried my best that morning to plait the loose french braid with my hair extensions as neatly as I could. I put on one of my favourite lipstick, the red one, put on my outfit and headed out.

I didn't feel particularly beautiful that day, I felt that I simply looked presentable. The sunshine was very warm that morning as I walked down the road to the bus stop. In front of me was a Caucasian woman and her daughter of no more than three or four years old.

Her daughter turned around as she heard my footsteps, she looked fully in my face as I looked back at her with a smile. She turned her head back, looked up at her mum and said something to her. Her mum turned around, looked at me with a smile and said :

"She said you are beautiful."

I could not contain the big smile that took over my face in that moment and the way my heart melted.

You see, we aren't born with a pre-conceived standard of external beauty in our mind. It is not written in our DNA that only a particular group of people are beautiful and other groups of people are ugly. These are all learnt behaviours.

Everyone knows the saying : "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

I do agree with this saying to some extent because we are not all attracted to the same types of people. Although this is true, it doesn't mean that whoever we don't find particularly attractive is ugly, because someone else will definitely find that person absolutely dashing!

I truly believe that a person's character and personality greatly affects the external beauty we see. Have you ever met someone for the first time and thought "oh, she/he isn't very attractive."  A couple of months later after getting to know this person, you find them attractive or even very attractive, and I'm not just talking about internal beauty here.

This has definitely happened to me and just goes to show that what we think of a person greatly influences how we see their external features. Think with me now, if we are constantly bombarded by the media that a particular skin tone, body shape, eye shape, lip shape, nose shape, toe shape, hand shape etc. is what is considered 'beautiful', don't you think this actually gets into our mind and frames our conception of what beauty looks like?

I'd love to hear your comments! Share them down below 🙂

Speak soon. X

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