I know I posted last week, but why does it feel like it’s been such a long time?
Myself and some of my friends were speaking yesterday about our walk with God and some of the struggles we are facing and face on a daily basis. We spoke about some of the issues which we have to constantly fight against and how we feel God must get tired of us and angry when we bring the same thing to Him over and over again. We shared our struggle with being perfect and living up to a certain standard we have built up in our minds. We spoke about the defeat we sometimes feel at truly living for God and the doubts that try to convince us that we are not good enough and that God is angry at us and doesn’t love us anymore. We spoke about the fact that we sometimes look at each other and think the other is so strong in their relationship with God and has no problems whatsoever and has it all together. We shared the thoughts that threaten to steal our faith and intimacy with God, as well as the mistakes we make which draw us away from Him.
Throughout our conversation, what I came to realise is that we all go through these very things but each one of us are afraid to expose it and actually edify one another. It’s crazy right? The church (not just the building) is supposed to be the hospital for our souls, our safe haven allowing us to be completely broken and naked before God, but why is it that all of us fight to put on a front, a mask, a pretence before one another? We try so hard to convince one another that “I am strong, I don’t have any issues in my spiritual life, I don’t doubt God at times, I don’t sin…….and it goes on and on”. When actually it is the direct opposite!
I don’t know about you, but my relationship with God has never been smooth sailing. The world and life itself makes that impossible. I believe this is the reason God wants us to understand our desperate and vital need of the Holy Spirit and meditating on His Word day and night. We are broken human beings with flesh that strongly gravitates towards all the wrongs and filth of this broken world…..without God’s total help, none of us can make it living in His will on this planet.
I am so grateful for our talk yesterday and I am sure we all blessed one another. Faith, I have been really understanding over the past month, is truly NOT a feeling, it is a deep and stubborn(good stubborn) conviction rooted in the word of God. One that doesn’t change its position irregardless of changes that occur around it.
I am a struggling Christian and recognise my deep deep deep and desperate need for Christ and His Spirit in me, leading my every move. The faith I described above is what pleases God and this is the faith I am fighting to establish in me every single day.
I hope this blessed you.